Quilting Class

So last night I went to my first quiliting class. We are making a 9 patch pillow.

I got my strips cut and sewn together. Next thing I need to do is press and cut again. I am a bit afraid of working on it alone. I will try to catch up before next class. I definitely will post a picture of the final product.

I am so glad I got to spend an hour with some girls and laugh! The girls at the bookstore (Caryn and Debbie) always have cool things going on there. Saturdays we have the Purls and Prayers group that knits and crochets. I miss going to that. I used to go more often but since we moved to Sheree's I just haven't gone. I think I have to start making it a point to go. My guess is that it will help with my feelings of loneliness. Also, the women's group every other Thursday is cool. We do a women's bible study and I call myself their "brown girl". It was actually pretty funny when I walked in to quilt and Lenora said, theres our brown girl! I love those ladies. Ok, I better end this since it seems like I am babbling. Until next time.

Feeling Sad

So I feel super sad tonight. I started looking around Facebook and honestly I don't know why I do it to myself. My friends are no longer my friends. No one writes, calls, emails. Its like not only did I divorce my ex by I divorced all the people I love. I don't want to say i am jealous but its difficult to not hear from your best friend but then find out she is friends with your ex's new girlfriend. I need to accept that those are not the same people for me. No use trying to mend friendships that just don't exist. I really wish I would not be sensitive but I am.

Then here I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I just want to build relationships with women like I had in the past. I want people to call me to see if I want to hang out. I have gotten so used to not having friends that I just don't try as hard anymore. That is not a good thing. Hoping God just heals my heart because honestly I just want to cry and i know that isn't going to fix it.

Capias, Candy and Binkies oh my!

So Tracey's baby shower is next Saturday and I am definitely feeling the pressure. Last night I figured out the capia. That isn't going to be so bad, mostly tedious. I got the binky necklaces made for the game. I bought the rest of the candy meltables. Almost ready to go. At least I feel like I am making some sort of headway.

I love my family but I will be so glad when this is over. I always open my mouth and say "I'll do it". Just dumb. Then I get to a point where I am completely overwhelmed and that stresses me out even more. My own fault but.... you know.

Otherwise, life is good. Back to temping so that I can possibly get this ovulation thing down. Also I am going to do OPKs this time. They usually don't work for me but I am going to try the 2xs a day and do it in the office. I gotta get some little pee pee cups.... We shall see.

Still Grateful

So I am not going to become a mom yet. I am so grateful that I prayed for my attitude. Don't get me wrong, I am disappointed, but it's different. I am not angry. This is just a tough time all the way around. I will get through it and have full faith in the Lord.

Giving Thanks.

Give thanks with a grateful heart, Give thanks to the Holy One,Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ His Son. And now let the weak say "I am strong." Let the poor say "I am rich."Because of what the Lord has done for us Give thanks.

I am feeling like I need to be thankful today.

So Thank you for:

- the new church I found
- sending me all the christian BBC gals.
- the roof over my head
- whatever your will is for me
- my wonderful husband
- grace and mercy
- loving family

I could go on and on and on. I am going through a tough time at the moment. I really want a child and as of Sunday I am late. The reason this is tough is because I am trying to work on myself to be grateful no matter what happens. Maybe this is it and I will be pregnant, maybe I won't. Only God knows the answer to that at the moment. I just don't want to be ungrateful when AF shows and I start again. I know God knows what is best for me. It is just very difficult to surrender all sometimes. I am definitely doing my best to do that. So any of you who read my blog and pray, please pray that I maintain a grateful heart and a good attitude. Thanks

June Already????

I can't believe it is June! It seems like just yesterday I was making the decision to move. Originally I wasn't going to leave until October but it turns out that life led me to leave in August. It was not a bad decision.

So I am waiting for my next cycle so that I can start the clomid. I am so nervous about that. I really hope it works for me. I can't wait to hold a little baby in my arms.

I started the coupon thing last month but I am still spending money on dumb things. I want to try to get a budget together. I want to have enough money to get baby girl a plane ticket to visit. I know the hubby would love to see her. She is turning into such a little lady.

So I am going to come up with a goal....

Cut shopping (food and HBA) down to $150 a month. With that I should be able to do that for two adults. I know people have that budget for larger families. Eventually we can probably cut it down but I want to start somewhere. With this I would like to work on our debt. We owe so much money that it is ridiculous!!!! At the same time it doesn't seem like enough to quite claim bk. So much to consider. But I won't stress about it because I know God will make a way.